We all experience stress. Learning how to control its effect on us is to gain a powerful tool.
Stress is the flipside of progress:
- When we are making progress, our horizons are expanding and we feel that more is possible. Our smart minds are highly active and exploring their world.
- When we are stressed, our horizons are shrinking and we feel that more is impossible. Our stupid brains are taking over and shutting things down.
It is important to listen to stress: to acknowledge it and to explore it.
Stress happens when we are faced with a demand that we can’t manage. The looming deadline is a demand, and we can’t meet it because the job just doesn’t leave time. This is such a common experience.
The demand we can’t manage becomes a threat we can’t escape. The stupid brain kicks in big time with its repertoire of behaviours which are all built around avoid/deny. Who hasn’t been there?
And, before anything else, please don’t begin to think “How pathetic am I?” or “There’s no such word as ‘can’t’.” or “Get a grip of yourself.”. Stress is real and it can be debilitating – every bit as much as the flu is real and can knock you out.
The key is to recognize that there is a balance between stress and progress that you can adjust. Any progress will reduce stress. Read this sequnce:
- I am stressed about my approaching deadline.
- I decide to work harder on that deadline.
- The stress gets worse.
That’s common, almost universal experience. Read on:
- I am still stressed about my approaching deadline.
- I switch and do something else that I enjoy and am good at. Doing a jigsaw, playing guitar, running a mile, baking a loaf…
- Although this feels deliquent, that little success is progress: just not where I most need it.
- Suddenly, the benefits of that progress spread and I feel more empowered.
This also is common experience, except that we maybe pay much more attention to the voice in the back of the mind saying “Delinquent!”. Read on…
- I go back to the deadline, shut my eyes (metaphorically unless you can touch-type) and plunge in.
- To my surprise and delight I start making progress. A paragraph written and although it’s not quite Shakespeare, it might just do…
- The deadening stress weakens into a milder anxiety and I begin to feel that every step forward is bringing me closer.
Of course, life isn’t a feel-good story and the stress will return. But this is a process that can be repeated and repeated (please don’t bake and eat a cake every 20 minutes through the day because you’re stressed!).
This is managing your stress. Eventually, you will find that if anything you are using your stress – it motivates you to find that empowerment. But, like all the big things in life, it’s a long learning curve.